December 10th, 2021
John 5: 30-47
30 “I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge; and my judgment is just, because I seek to do not my own will but the will of him who sent me.
31 “If I testify about myself, my testimony is not true. 32 There is another who testifies on my behalf, and I know that his testimony to me is true. 33 You sent messengers to John, and he testified to the truth. 34 Not that I accept such human testimony, but I say these things so that you may be saved. 35 He was a burning and shining lamp, and you were willing to rejoice for a while in his light. 36 But I have a testimony greater than John’s. The works that the Father has given me to complete, the very works that I am doing, testify on my behalf that the Father has sent me. 37 And the Father who sent me has himself testified on my behalf. You have never heard his voice or seen his form, 38 and you do not have his word abiding in you, because you do not believe him whom he has sent.
39 “You search the scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that testify on my behalf. 40 Yet you refuse to come to me to have life. 41 I do not accept glory from human beings. 42 But I know that you do not have the love of God in you. 43 I have come in my Father’s name, and you do not accept me; if another comes in his own name, you will accept him. 44 How can you believe when you accept glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the one who alone is God? 45 Do not think that I will accuse you before the Father; your accuser is Moses, on whom you have set your hope. 46 If you believed Moses, you would believe me, for he wrote about me. 47 But if you do not believe what he wrote, how will you believe what I say?”
Do Not Be Afraid
“Maycomb was an old town, but it was a tired old town when I first knew it…People moved slowly them. They ambled across the square, shuffled in and out of the stores around it, took their time about everything. A day was twenty-four hours long but seemed longer. There was no hurry, for there was nowhere to go, nothing to buy and no money to buy it with, nothing to see outside the boundaries of Maycomb County. But it was a time of vague optimism for some of the people: Maycomb County had recently been told that it had nothing to fear but fear itself.”
Writing in early 1930s Depression-Era America, Harper Lee offers perspective regarding the terrified malaise of Southern Alabama in my favorite novel, To Kill a Mockingbird. Throughout these last twenty-one months, humans have come face-to-face with our own humanity.
The trials we have faced in the last two years have been nothing new in the scope of human existence, but they have been OUR trials, new to us. Amidst all the cancellations and changes and challenges, these last months have forced us to re-evaluate how we function in the world, in our friend groups, and in our families. We have watched and waited. We are tired, and having come face to face with our own humanity, we are afraid.
But you know what? I cannot help but think of what our Gospel readings have been these last months. Jesus, awakened from a swift slumber in the boat, questioned his terrified disciples: “Why are you afraid?” Again, Jesus asks in Matthew why those surrounding Him have so little faith; He encourages them not to be afraid. Jesus tells Simon not to be afraid, that soon he will be fishing for men. Jesus calls to His disciples as He walks on water not to be afraid. He tells Mary and Martha not to be afraid that their brother Lazarus has died.
We are not the little four-year-old shrieking child shivering and shaking from a soul-sucking nightmare padding into her parents’ or grandparents’ bedroom needing to be shown that there is no boogeyman under the bed. We are not that sweet innocent being told, “There’s nothing under the bed. There’s nothing in the closet. See? There’s nothing to be afraid of.” No, we are not that child.
For us, Jesus speaks to this emotion. When he asks why the disciples are afraid, He never tells them that the source of their fear doesn’t exist. He never tells them that there isn’t anything to be afraid of. As a matter of fact, Jesus knows the source is real. He knows it will bite and sting and burn. However, He also knows that Who He is and Who sent Him are vastly more that any fear or dread.
Jesus says that we seek the Scriptures and they testify on His behalf. They testify that there will be wars and disease and natural catastrophes. These events are not new. And even with the study of Scriptures, we refuse to come to Him. Perhaps we refuse to believe in Him and in His glory. After all, couldn’t He make this all stop if He wanted to? Perhaps we refuse to believe that He is actually in control of the chaos we have lived in these last months. Perhaps we cannot bear to go to Him with our fear, our grief, our rage, our loneliness; after all, if we believed in Him, we shouldn’t have these horrifying emotions, should we?
The Rev. Janie Koch
Rector, All Saints’ McAllister
Episcopal Diocese of Oklahoma