Losing Control
Father,
I abandon myself into your hands; do with me what you will.
Whatever you may do, I thank you:
I am ready for all, I accept all.
Let only your will be done in me, and in all your creatures.
I wish no more than this, O Lord.
Into your hands I commend my soul;
I offer it to you
with all the love of my heart,
for I love you, Lord,
and so need to give myself,
to surrender myself into your hands,
without reserve,
and with boundless confidence,
for you are my Father.
This is the Prayer of Abandonment written by the Blessed Charles de Foucauld. Foucauld was a Cistercian Trappist monk who relocated from France to Syria in the late 1800s. He left the order to become a hermit, living a life of service and labor to others in the Sahara Desert in Southern Algeria. He was assassinated at his hermitage there on December 1, 1916.
“I am not in control.” These may be the five hardest words for any of us to acknowledge. We want to be in control. For some, they want to be in control of all things, all the time. For others, they just want to be able to control their own lives. There are so many things we want to control: our schedule, our finances, our emotions. We want to control what others think about us. We want to control those things that are perhaps controlling us. Accepting that we are not always in control can be one of the hardest life lessons we learn. It leads to frustration, upset, and, at times, despair.
As Jesus hung on the cross, he knew that he was not in control. Our catechism tells us that “by his obedience, even to suffering and death, Jesus made the offering which we could not make.” As he told his disciples in Gethsemane, he knew his hour had come. He was no longer in control. He knew what was ahead of him. In his sacrifice—in his giving up control—he would overcome death and give us eternal life.
By giving up control, we are given the opportunity to gain a new paradigm; a new way to see the world around us. Learning to see things as they really are—and accepting that we are not always going to be in control—can be a liberating concession. Even more freeing is our willingness to give up the control that we so desire to someone greater than us. By giving up this control, we are transformed into the beautiful creation that God fashioned in us, rather than who we believe we are meant to be. When we surrender ourselves to God, we become one of God’s own.
Following the example of Jesus and abandoning ourselves into the arms of God can be a challenge for us. As it was for Charles de Foucauld, it requires humility, blind trust, and courage. But the reward—though not yet revealed to us—is beyond measure. May God give us the grace to humble ourselves before him.
And the courage to allow him to take control.
—Skip Eller, Postulant for Holy Orders
Iona School of Formation