I learned quite a bit last week. I learned that people’s faith—or lack thereof—amidst a crisis determines their reactions and interactions with one another. Grief is a powerful motivator. When people hold different beliefs from one another, yet are set in the same scenario, chaos can ensue. What I beheld last week was not that. Instead, I watched a family gather, despite their differences, and make compromises (not concessions of faith) to accommodate one another through their grief. Each of them held a different theology—including some that held no theology—and the conversations surrounding that were graceful and loving.
I watched Jesus’ intention behind ‘Love thy neighbor’ come to fruition.
I’ll be honest and say that it wasn’t easy. These folks struggled with some of the decisions made, taking their time to process their own emotions and individual understandings of God in concert with the ‘other’. Tears were shed born from grief, but also from frustration. No one in the group wanted to deny their own belief, no one wanted to disappoint God by virtue of denying their principles. And yet, everyone was able to come together after taking that time, gathering in unity to honor their beloved dead.
I was amazed.
The world would feel quite different if we were all able to take our theologies and stand firm in them, without feeling the need to prove anything. Think on it: If we were able to simply believe with steadfast faith and assurance, and not try to project what’s ‘right’ onto someone else, wouldn’t that be something to behold? We spend so much time trying to prove whether we’re right or wrong “Because the Bible says so” that we never stop to think about the way in which people understand the written word of God. Each of us is made in God’s image—the Imago Dei—and each of us is unique within that created beauty. Therefore, each of us, having a personal relationship with God, will have subtle nuanced views on who God is. That doesn’t make us ‘right’ to someone else, but it does create a sense of peace with who we are in relationship to our Creator.
I’m struck by my own need to prove my creed. Why? Why do I feel the need to argue with others about their beliefs? Why do I need to defend a God who is so powerful that not even death has dominion over Him? Why do I get frustrated when people refer to God as ‘she’? It’s done plenty of times within scripture, just as the reference to father is made. Why do I need to argue about who’s living wrongly and who’s sinning in particular ways? Who am I to determine what sins are worthy of exclusion from the community?
The answer to that last one, at least, is this: I am not qualified to make those assertions.
I am not God.
And neither are any of you.
But too often, we place ourselves in the position of God’s lawyer, arguing point and counterpoint to assuage our own insecurities or needs to be ‘right’. I’m not going to do that anymore. After watching this group of people come together, I realized that it’s not, nor has it ever been, about me and my faith. The ministry of presence is to do just that: Be present. That’s it. Our conversations about God should include the various ways we’ve experienced Him, the miraculous, the grace-filled moments, the unceasing conversations between us and Him, the way we understand Him.
But. Only. If. We. Are. Asked.
Otherwise, we are called to simply state that we love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. The ‘how’ isn’t something that needs be included. Offering up too much information often lands us in a place of discord. We should be able to hold firm to our faith, while also making room for alternative points of view—not necessarily agreeing with them, but at least honoring the other person in the conversation enough to listen. After all, we don’t know what we don’t know, and my friends, there’s quite a bit we don’t know.
I encourage all of us to venture out into the world with God in our hearts but patience on our tongues and love in our ears. Angry arguments are not a gift that we are required to accept and participate within. Instead, let our hearts and minds and the knowledge and love of God fill us, allowing us to believe in the same everlasting Father who created billions of people, all with their own opinions and beliefs. And recognize that ours may not be the only answer--that a paradox of truths is a possibility in this large world. And what a world that could be.
That’s the world I want to live in.
And I will, with God’s help.
Faithfully,
Fr. Sean+