One of my favorite songs by the Avett Brothers is a song called “Shame”. The chorus is as follows:
Shame. Boatloads of Shame.
Day after Day. More of the same.
Blame. Please lift it off.
Please take it off. Please make it stop.
I’ve always thought this is a great way for me to express how I feel during communion and/or the confession. And during some sermons. As someone who recently preached what some of you have referred to as ‘shaming’, I am sensitive to your plight. When words shame instead of convict, I have missed the mark. While my intention isn’t perceived in the way in which I desired, I apologize. However, I will also state that I am not responsible for your reality. I can’t be. Nor am I responsible for the way in which you hear the words I say.
I prayerfully approach each Sunday. When it’s my turn to preach, watch closely: I always pray and bow my head before asking you to sit. “Thy words not my words; thy will not my will.” That’s seriously the prayer I pray. Every. Single. Time. I happen to be human, too, however. Unfortunate, I know. So, sometimes the sermon may miss it’s intended destination and unravel for some of you—devolving into boatloads of shame. I wonder at that—as, again, I cannot be responsible for your thoughts but I do have to be accountable for the words I speak.
This leads me to my point, especially today. There are joyous Americans today. There are hurting Americans today. They both reside in this beloved community. I know better than to wag my finger and tell everyone that we should all just sing a campfire song and move on. Elections have power just like words do. So, as someone who regularly offends people by words, or even sometimes unintentionally shames them, allow me the opportunity to say this:
You are loved. Period. For some, you know this. The sun came up, the candidate won, and life goes on. For others, the world seems darker and the words fail to escape lips that want to scream. For me, I care about both. I hope you do, too. St. Augustine wrote a great prayer many centuries ago and in it there are three phrases I hope we can really pray together today:
“Soothe the suffering; pity the afflicted; shield the joyous.”
Nothing I ever say from that pulpit is meant to ever shame you. Or target you. Or make you feel lesser. I hope, that in my fallible nature, you know that I deeply care for each of you. Likewise, I hope you will care for each other in the weeks to come. No eye rolling and flippant dismissals please. No, “They did it to us, first” or “Well, now it’s our turn” mentalities. No "They hate me and are hateful people" words. Those types of statements divide, they do not heal. If we buy into the narrative of vindictive statements, we are not the people of God. We're the people of falsehood. I care about each of you and will pray for grace--for all people. I will respect the dignity of every person loving my neighbor as myself. I will spread the news of Jesus Christ by word and example. I will pray without ceasing. We will pray for the President, the Governor and the Mayor just like we always do. We will continue to pray for the lost, the lonely and the left out. We will pray for unity and peace. We will pray hard in thanks. We will pray hard during our hardship. We will pray for each other. We will pray. And we will do so without shame because being prayerful and loving people is who we’re called to be. Take some time if you're hurting. Take some time if you're celebrating. But at each end of that spectrum, take some time to remember that the people in this community love you, regardless of affiliation. There is no room for shame or blame here, only grace and hope.
Shame? Please make it stop. That includes me. I love you. Shamelessly.
Faithfully,
Fr. Sean+